We can never be friends again; I don’t want to have anything to do with him or her again, that guy is a bastard, or I can never spend my money on any guy or girl again. Are you conversant with those phrases? I’m sure you do.
These words I’ve heard from many dudes again and again. I’m not a relationship coach but I know I can help your situation because I know what it means to be embittered. I have come to realize that some male folks find it hard to admit reality whenever their request is not granted by any ladies they their feelings to. Many friends have turned foes because I can’t marry you.
The first problem some guys have is to raise their expectations too high while scouting the prospective lady they claim to love. It’s not an issue to have an expectation but don’t be so sure that the outcome will be positive. Am I being pessimistic here? No. The fact remains that you are not sure if the lady in context is in a working relationship or perhaps have a guy she’s still testing running. So you must not be too sure that she’s going to say yes.
Except you have done your research well and you found that; firstly, she’s not in any relationship whether abusive or non-abusive.
Secondly, try and find out if any of her male friends are not in any romantic relationship with other ladies. Because if she still has male friends who are yet to be hooked, she might be having a feeling for any of them.
Having done this, then to some extent you can say she will say yes. However, the aforementioned doesn’t guarantee that her response to your request will be a yes.
Because she might not have an interest in you. If she doesn’t feel anything for you then her response might definitely be a no. this is where guys get it all wrong. They feel how can she just turn me down? How can she just keep me in the zone? Am I not good enough? I am this and I am that! Firstly, who are you that a lady cannot turn you down?
It is as good as someone offering you a sumptuous meal and you don’t have an appetite for it or perhaps you are allergic to the food; will you force yourself to eat it? Obviously no! You are not eating the food not because the food is not good or nutritious. Same thing applicable to ladies.
Most times they say no not because the guy is bad or he’s not in their level but because he’s not just their preference.
Guys must understand this. Not all ladies will say yes to you. And don’t be embittered because a lady turns you down or whisk you to the zone. If they turn you down, they can still be useful to you in many ways only if you don’t see them as your enemies.
Because the moment you see them as enemies they move away from you and your friendship with them is injured. Just a few among them will confront you and speak sense into your cerebrum. I have female friends I can call and ask, ‘please could you help me do this or that?’ If we are not in good terms, that may not be possible.
Dear brother, if she says 'no' move on without any iota of indignation. That doesn’t mean you are not handsome, it doesn’t mean you are not intelligent; it just that you are not her choice.
Dear sister; please don’t give him green light if you know he’s not your type or choice.
Guys hate it when you turn them on and you leave.
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Dear sisters don’t be embittered because he leaves you for another lady after all that you have done for him. Be glad that he leaves probably you are not meant to be together in the first place, would you be happy if he married you out of pity? I’m sure no.
You must know your worth, the earlier you do the earlier you realize you are not to be bothered when a guy leaves. If you are a diamond and you are dating a guy who doesn’t value diamond; he will eventually leave. Because he doesn’t know the value of what he has. He has to leave so that he can allow those who value diamonds to troop in.
Have you heard of ladies saying I can never spend my dime on any guy again even the husband they are going to marry? Some ladies do say this because a guy they’ve spent all their savings on left them.
And the excuse they usually give is that ‘all guys are the same.’
All guys are not the same, point of correction. How many guys have you dated before jumping into such a baseless conclusion?
There are many ethnic groups in my native country, how can a girl that have not even dated all the guys in one ethnic group say all guys are the same? It is nothing but the fallacy of hasty generalization.
Sister, take it easy, the one that leaves is not the one that is coming, and the one coming might not be the one that will marry you. So why do you want to punish Paul for Peter? Let’s be guided; all men aren’t the same.
Even the one from the same parent is not the same.
©odunayoSamuel
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