I had been seen different choice ladies of varied sizes and ages coming to ask after my uncle.
Not only that, but he also bragged about them. I was like one day I too would have beautiful ladies like him. I thought to have a fleet of different beautiful ladies like my uncle was what makes a man a man. I have been thinking that one day I as well would catch one big fish, at least to start with.
And so the D-day came. It was Saturday morning, saw a lady passing, I ran inside the house to meet with my friend who had one chinco phone (China made) because what I was using was palasa (a small, not too fanciful) phone.
I thought that one was not befitting to ask for a lady number. So I opted for my friend's phone. From my house to the bus stop was five minutes' walk. I followed her from my house to the bus stop, was walking behind her, but couldn't say a word to her.
When we reached the bus stop, I stood beside her for nothing less than forty-five minutes, the same thing happened, I couldn't say a word. At a time she knows my intention, and she didn't want to leave, expecting me to at least be bold enough to talk to her but I disappointed myself and my friend that gave me a phone. Because I had made mouth to him that today I'm getting a girl number.
I wanted to be like my uncle but never asked my uncle the know-how. I could not even say hello not to talk of getting her number. But the truth is that I could not ask her out not because I didn't know the know-how but because I was afraid of a bigger challenge.
After all, that was not the first time of me asking a girl out. But obviously was the first time of doing that in Lagos. I was doing it for the first time in the city. The first experience I had was in the village. So I thought the modus operandi would be a bit different in the city.
Secondly, the girl was not what I think she was in terms of stature when I walked closer to her. I thought she was too pretty to be asked out by me. She dressed too gorgeous for a guy like me to ask her out. Above all, I was afraid if this girl should embarrass me based on the highlighted,l it would not be funny at all. Then I let go of her.
My problem was not what to say or how to say it. But, how I see myself. Likewise, some people problem is not talent or lack of skill but how they see themselves. The truth of the matter is that when you are doing a thing for the first time there is a kind of fear that accompanies it but let not such discourage you.
Low self-esteem; like, this is too much for me, this new challenge is too much for me, I don't think I can handle it, can make one be in the status quo.
Low self-esteem is an anti boldness. It won't enable you to try new things. It will make you have a misperception of yourself. But hear this, no man with such an attitude will ever grow. Because growth comes with new and bigger challenges.
Subsequently, I had asked quite some number of girls out. And the highest disappointment I had about them wasn't abuse but a simple NO. And it is normal for a girl to say no. Not every girl will respond YES, because all cannot be your wife.
Some I perceived say no because they have someone they are dating while some others because they do not know what they want.
So if you are because of failure refuse to start a new project or business, you will remain as you are and nothing magical can take you to your next level.
When you fail, learn from it and move on. The only tragedy is if you fail and because of it, you stop trying or fail to learn from it.
A new year is nearer than you can imagine, my advice for you is to not let your failure in 2019 discourage you from taking up new challenges. Don't give room for low self-esteem because it doesn't help. And above all bite more than you can chew, and don't play safe.
I remain your lovely friend Akerele Odunayo Samuel.
SEE YOU IN 2020.
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